


I hate this place, and maybe you (but we can learn to be okay)

by Fierysky



Series: SHIELD Team as Family [5]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hurt & Healing, Post-Season/Series 05 Finale, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, angry!Jemma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-29 16:59:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15733650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fierysky/pseuds/Fierysky
Summary: Jemma Simmons Fitz is slowly cracking under the mundane activities at SHIELD.  (rated T due to swearing)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Florchis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Florchis/gifts).



> Prompt from the lovely and sweet Florchis: "Jemma and Robbie talk about Daisy whilst Robbie is 'with the team' "

Jemma Simmons cleared her throat and gave Director Mack a warm smile. “I love the modifications, thank you,” she nodded as he said something polite before exiting the lab.

_God, I hate this place._

Jemma shook her head, as she went back to her microscope. Today was gearing up to be a bad one, and she needed to get lost in her work to drown her inner thoughts. Ever since they lost Fitz, her mind was a bubbling cauldron, a witches brew that wanted to spill over so everyone could see. After all, they were the ones that kept pouring pain and sorrow in her. 

“Hey Jem, you got a minute?”  Daisy burst in, and without waiting for a reply, she bounded up to Jemma's workstation. “We got a new lead on Fitz.” 

“Really?” Jemma straightened up and whipped off her safety glasses. "What is it?"

“Well, it’s a lead on finding Robbie,” Daisy amended. “But with his magic portaling chain, we can find Fitz!” She picked up a beaker and sniffed it before setting it back down.

_Get out of my fucking lab._

“Sounds good,” Jemma chirped aloud. “Let me know how I can help.”

"Will do." Daisy finally glanced at Jemma and her brow creased.  “You okay?”

Jemma blinked and stared blankly. Was _any_ thing okay?

“Sorry, silly question,” Daisy dipped her head. “If there’s anything I can do-”

Jemma softened.

If only she had powers like Daisy.

She’d quake her against the wall, then out her lab, then every time she opened her fucking mouth.

“I’ll let you know,” Jemma smiled brightly and then gestured to her work table. “I’m in the middle of a time-sensitive blood test-”

“Gotcha,” Daisy smiled back, oblivious to Jemma’s thoughts. “I’ll see myself out.” And she gave a quick wave before strolling out.

Jemma shook her head as she went back to work. If she ever started to voice her inner thoughts, the first thing she’d say was how absolutely ridiculous Daisy looked with blonde hair.

_Like Big Bird died and her head is his final resting place._

The thought cheered her up, and for the rest of the day, whenever she saw Daisy, she imagined Big Bird was perched atop her.

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is much welcome! I found that I couldn't have Jemma in the story without addressing her post S5 finale, and you know it was a lot to unpack!
> 
> I swear, I have most of this written and it gets better/happier :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team finds Robbie

**Location: The Old SHIELD base**

* * *

 

The lead to finding Robbie was solid, and after Jemma activated AIDA's portal, Robbie materialized almost immediately.

Jemma looked on as Director Mack and Agent May rushed to his side and she wondered if this was how they'd rushed to Fitz when he'd died. 

“Where am I?” Robbie panted, as he rubbed his face. He hefted his chain, and then laid it on the floor. 

Jemma was enchanted by the metal links against the grimy concrete. She'd killed LMD Fitz with a piece of shiny metal once, but no one remembered.

“In hell,” Jemma offered, and all eyes whipped towards her.

“Kidding!” she raised her hands defensively. “It’s worse than hell, to be honest.”

Director Mack was looking at her with something akin to pity, but he moved towards Robbie. Good.

“Let’s get you looked at, Matchstick,”  Mack clapped Robbie on the shoulder. “Jemma, can you-?”

_Ugh, do you even have to ask?_

“I’m on it,” Jemma beamed, before turning to Robbie. “This way. We’re in the old base. I’ve set up to observe you in a room that didn’t get destroyed.”

“Where’s Daisy?” Robbie asked, trying to look like he didn’t care, but failing miserably.

_You’re welcome for the help._

“She’s on comms back on Zephyr," Jemma said, apologetically.

“She’s not coming?” Robbie faltered. “I thought-”

_You’re here to help find my dead husband that SHIELD killed. Not hook up._

“She wanted to be here, but-”

“Give him an earpiece,” Daisy’s voice came in softly. “So I can talk to him.”

This is how my villain story probably begins, Jemma fumed as Robbie returned to Director Mack for an earpiece, and then ambled off to a corner to talk to Daisy out of earshot.

She was far away from Fitz as ever, with only the empty promises from those around her. 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is Daisy's POV


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daisy talks to Robbie, and Jemma snaps.

**Zephyr**

After she’d ran away from SHIELD, Daisy self-medicated with alcohol, but now instead of bottles of Jack, she drowned her sorrows in the vibrations around her. It was better on her liver, and cheaper to boot. Closing her eyes, she leaned back in her chair, as she allowed the hum of the Zephyr to overtake her senses. It was soothing, and better than the stiffest drink.

“And Jemma can’t yell at me,” she muttered, remembering how friend frowned on those self-destructive habits. 

“What did you say?”

Daisy sighed. There was Piper, well, piping up again.

“I hope Jemma’s doing okay,” she lied, burrowing in her seat. She was such an expert liar, hiding her feelings. No-one really saw it, not even May. She was in survival mode now, treating SHIELD like any toxic foster home, and her vibrations would help her forget the bad so she could focus on what good remained. 

“Bet you’re happy to see Robbie again, huh?” There was a wistful tone to Piper’s voice.

“Happiness is relative.” Daisy gave up on drifting away, Piper wouldn’t shut up. “Let me in on the feed so I can hear him?” She straightened up, and when she turned on her headset, Jemma was speaking. 

“She’s on comms back on the Zephyr,” Jemma said, before pausing.  A gravelly voice sounded in the background, and it hit her, that through time and space, and all the dumb shit she’d been through, that was Robbie. He was here. “She wanted to be here, but-” Jemma continued, soothingly.

“Give him an ear piece,” Daisy instructed, as excitement took over. “So I can talk to him.”

Moments passed, and some static,  then a new voice came on. “Is it- is it really you?”

“Robbie?” Daisy didn’t realize she was holding her breath till she exhaled.

“The one and only.” 

“I didn’t think I’d hear ever hear you again,” she confessed, tearing up. She hastily wiped her face, so Piper wouldn't see her crying.

Robbie made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle, and damn, more tears fell.

“It’s good to hear your voice,” Robbie murmured. “So good. You’re my only friend, you know?”

“I can believe that, Hothead,” Daisy joked, scrubbing her eyes. A tissue appeared in front of her face, and she accepted it gratefully.  It was Piper.

“You been taking care of yourself?” Robbie asked, his voice low. “Everyone looks weird when I ask about you.”

Daisy closed her eyes.  Robbie’s concern was soothing, like a warm blanket on a cold day, and she wanted to be selfish, to have him wrap her in it.

“You there?”

“Yeah,” Daisy cleared her throat and accepted another tissue from Piper. “Do whatever  Jemma says so you can come see me, okay?”

“Alright girl, you’re the boss.” Robbie’s voice was still raspy, but there was a small smile in it.

Daisy disconnected the call and took a deep breath. 

“You’re okay, Johnson?” Piper asked, hesitantly.

Daisy began her trademark lie, that she was fine, but Robbie’s voice echoed in her head.

“No, I’m not,” she shook her head, and fell into Piper’s arms, as her tears fell.

* * *

 

Robbie trusted Daisy implicitly, so even though he didn’t care for SHIELD, he knew Daisy cared for and trusted them. And if he were being honest, seeing Mack as Director put him at ease.

“What else has been happening around here?” he asked Jemma.

“You mean how Thanos didn’t snap us in his murderous glory?” She put on latex gloves with a snap. “Take off your jacket, please. I need to draw blood.”

Robbie did as she asked, unzipping his jacket, and draping it on the table.

Jemma was getting the needle ready, and when she turned to Robbie, her mouth dropped open. Robbie Reyes was only wearing a white undershirt, and his physique was impressive. She smothered a giggle.

“What’s so funny?” Robbie asked warily.

“You remind me of a friend of ours. Trip.” Jemma smiled, and it was a genuine one.

“I look like him?” Robbie frowned.

“Oh no, he’s much better looking,” Jemma teased, as happy memories returned. “Well, _was_.” She sighed. “Which arm do you normally give blood?” She raised an eyebrow when Robbie looked blank. “Let’s use the left, then. Make a fist.”

“How’s Fitz?” Robbie winced as the needle stuck.

His question, so innocent, was an attack on her senses. So Robbie didn’t know about Fitz? Daisy didn’t tell him that’s why he was brought back? Could Robbie even help? She grieved Fitz every minute of the day, till her sorrow seemed her only comfort and connection to him. Jemma blinked rapidly, watching the blood fill up and tried not to feel betrayed.

“He’s dead,” she finally said.

_I might as well be._

Robbie looked up sharply. “ _Dead_?”

“So I already got your vitals, and now your bloodwork,” Jemma ignored him as she applied gauze and a band-aid. “ I need to do a CT scan-“

“He’s not dead,” Robbie stood up. “He’s not.”

Maybe it was his confident attitude, that he knew her husband wasn’t dead even though she’d bawled over Fitz’s corpse and they had to drag her away from it. Maybe it was the last time she was in this blasted building, AIDA was there. Or maybe she was frightened they’d never find him, floating in space.

But Jemma Anne Simmons snapped, and not like a delicate reed, bowing in two breaking, but as a dam overflowing, a mighty torrent that promised to deluge anything in its path.

“Liar,” she screamed, and balling her fist, she threw her hand back and punched Robbie square in the jaw.  “You’re a liar just like them all.”

Robbie’s head snapped back, and his face reddened where she’d  hit him. He started to ask what the hell was wrong when his feet were no longer under him;  he was flat on his back, staring at the fluorescent lights of the ceiling.

Did that little scientist shove him on the ground?

His last thought before he blacked out, was that he should never ever underestimate little scientists.

* * *

 


End file.
